


Local Dumbasses Are In Love And Do Not Realize

by World_Pax



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Banter, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:40:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28620450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/World_Pax/pseuds/World_Pax
Summary: Zuko needs a spouse to "strengthen international relations." Who else to pick but his best friend who he's maybe a little bit in love with? Or, as I like to call it, "Friends With Political Benefits."
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Past) - Relationship, Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Suki/Sokka (Past) - Relationship, mai/ty lee (mentioned)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 37





	1. The Proposal

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first posted work and i'm mostly doing this on a dare but. can't go wrong with fake marriage aus

The door to Sokka’s quarters slammed open. He startled and grabbed his sword. After a year on the run, four assasination attempts on him and Zuko each, three failed coups, and five years of knowing Aang, his nerves were just a little jumpy. 

“Sokka, it’s me. Relax.” Zuko was leaning in the doorway, twisting his fingers together like he did when he was nervous. 

“Uh-huh. You first, Your Majesty. What’s wrong?” Sokka put his sword away and sat back down at his desk. 

“Don't call me that,” Zuko said, sidestepping his question.

Sokka snorted. “Alright. Out with it, Your Royal Emo-ness.” Stupid nicknames never failed to annoy Zuko. Aang still addressed every letter to the palace as “Attn: Sifu Hotman,” and Sokka was pretty sure Zuko was going to explode one of these days. Sure enough, he rolled his eyes. “If you keep calling me stupid names, I won’t tell you,” he threatened. 

Sokka leaned back in his chair. “Fine. You tell me what’s eating you this time, let me help you, and I won’t call you anything but Zuko for two weeks.” 

“Deal,” he hesitated, “The thing is...well…”

“Yes?” Sokka prompted. 

“Ikindofneedyoutomarryme.”

“...come again?” 

“You know, with the anniversary of of the peace treaty passing, my advisors thought it would be a good idea to strengthen the bonds between our nations somehow, and they started making noise about arranging a marriage between me and some Earth Kingdom noble girl, and I–”

“Zuko.”

“–just can’t marry some girl I don’t know. You know how awkward I am! All our conversations would be formalities and then nothing! We’d just stare at each other forever! Not to mention that everyone expects me to produce an heir–”

“Zuko!”

“–and you KNOW my views on that. I’m sorry, this was a terrible idea. I’ll tell Minister Xao that we need to find a different strategy, just forget I said anything. It’s taken care of! Nothing to worry about–”  
“ZUKO! Let me get a word in edgewise, man!” Zuko rubbed a hand over the back of his head sheepishly, which was definitely a habit he’d picked up from Sokka. “What’s up?” 

“Don’t you ‘what’s up’ me. I have so many questions for you.”

“Shoot.”

“First and foremost: what about Mai?” As far as Sokka knew, she and Zuko were still dating. If Zuko was planning to marry anyone, Sokka definitely would have put money on her. 

“...dude. How did you manage to live this long, being blinder than me or Toph?”

“Hey! I might be the only person on the planet who can react quickly enough to beat you in a fight, Sparky,” Sokka defended. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

Zuko pouted. “You said no nicknames.”

“‘Sparky’ doesn’t count. Even Katara calls you Sparky.” Sokka’s not backing down on this one. “Sparky” was the only nickname that Zuko didn’t roll his eyes at. If anything, it seemed to soften his demeanor when somebody used it. Sokka attributed it to the fact that it reminded Zuko of his friends, as well as the fact that he has friends in the first place. And Tui knows he’d take every chance he got to remind Zuko that he’s not alone anymore. 

Zuko sighed. “Fine. And to answer your question, I was never dating Mai. She’s been in love with Ty Lee since we were twelve, and they’ve been dating forever. But that’s not really as accepted in the Fire Nation, so they had to hide it. I was their coverup, and since our families expected both Mai and I to produce heirs and carry on our bloodlines, it worked out for both of us. We got everybody off our backs, and I got a friend out of it too. But now that I’ve relaxed Sozin’s restrictions on same-sex relationships, and she’s not the only kid in her family anymore, she feels more comfortable being more open. Plus, the Kyoshi warriors are a lot more accepting than most of the Fire Nation. Seriously, you never stopped to wonder why she lives there and not here?”

Sokka considered this. He’d assumed Mai had too many painful memories in Caldera, like Iroh. But he himself had managed it for Zuko, and he was only Zuko’s best friend. He’d only met Mai a couple times, but she seemed like a strong person; one who wouldn’t let her issues keep her from the people she loved most. And they hadn’t, he supposed. It just so happened that the people she loved most were in a different arrangement than he’d thought. Zuko always relaxed when he got a letter from Mai, and Sokka could see that he loved her a lot. He’s pretty sure she was Zuko’s first and only friend in the Fire Nation. 

“That makes sense, actually. So, back to the marriage thing. Why me? I mean, I know I’m the ambassador, but marrying your male Royal Advisor seems a little bold, even with the relaxed laws. Won’t your advisors be suspicious of undue influence? And I know the nobles are less accepting than...pretty much everyone else.” 

“On the contrary, I think it’s the perfect amount of bold. You know me, I never do things halfway.” Sokka snorted at this and nodded. “I believe that this is the perfect way to drive home the point that we’re a different nation than we used to be. The leader of the Fire Nation, marrying not only a man, but a future Water Tribe Chief? I don’t think there’s a better way to show everybody that this is not the Fire Nation of my father or his father. As for the undue influence, if that were going to be a problem, I think it would have come up long before now. You spend most of your time here, and most of that time with me. If my advisors didn’t trust you, believe me, they would have said something about it.” Sokka tilted his head at this. Zuko made some good points, but... 

“Okay, you’ve convinced me that this is a good move politically, but what about you? I’d be holding you back from any romantic relationship you might want to pursue. The political benefits don’t exactly allow for us to separate.” The idea of Zuko being with anyone else sent a stab of worry and hurt through his chest. Sokka knew all about how Jet had used him, and more recently, the string of noble girls bidding for his hand and his power. Especially if it was going to be a secret relationship, Sokka was worried about their ulterior motives. Zuko definitely didn’t need his protection, but much like with Suki, Sokka desperately wanted to offer it. 

Zuko waved a hand dismissively. “You know how busy I am. I haven’t had any time for romance these past four years. Somehow, I don’t see that changing anytime soon. If it does, we can cross that bridge when we get to it.”

Sokka leaned back in his chair, considering, and rubbed a hand over his mouth. “The Water Tribes are monogamous, man. I know it’s different here, especially in the upper echelons of arranged marriages, but if you found someone you actually loved romantically, we’d have to separate. I just want to make sure you’ve thought this through and considered the potential consequences.” 

Zuko snorted. “This is just proving to me why we should get married. Without you to balance my impulsiveness, I would have tanked this nation years ago. As to your point about the consequences, I genuinely cannot imagine having a romantic relationship anytime soon. No one’s caught my eye since–you know, now that I think about it, um, no one’s ever really caught my eye.” He shrugged. “Like I said. I’ve been so busy, and I, um, really don’t feel like I need more than what I’ve got right now. My current circle is more than I ever could’ve asked for.”

“Aww. Did the king of emotional stuntedness just admit that he cares about us?” Sokka grinned. “You’ve grown so much! I’m very proud, darling.” 

The tips of Zuko’s ears went bright red. “You weren’t any better. Suki had to stage an intervention for her own relationship to get you to admit that you guys are better off as friends. And pet names still count as nicknames!” 

Sokka grinned sheepishly and rubbed a hand over the nape of his neck. “Yeah, not my finest moment. But pet names totally don’t count! They’re practically a stipulation of the very thing I agreed to help you with! I am obligated to call my spouse any number of pet names whether the relationship is real or not.”

“You promised not to call me anything but Zuko for–wait, did you just agree to do it?”

Sokka swallowed against the fear and exhilaration that flashed through his chest. “I did. Let’s get married, Zuko.”


	2. Council Meeting

Sokka hated the throne room. Zuko had practically gotten rid of every reminder of his father, but some of the oppressive air lingered on. Much of it was related to the few Ministers that were left over from Ozai’s rule, who did their level best to recreate the droning, listless meetings they had experienced under him. Sokka’s attention span had adapted to quick-paced fights and spirited debates with the younger, more traveled members of the Council. Listening to Minister Xin Fung drone on about prices that really could have just been a memo made him itch. He craned his head, trying to catch Zuko’s eye from where he sat at the head of the table. Zuko had done away with the throne and fire that removed the Fire Lord from his Council, instead choosing to sit with them and engage them in discussion. When Zuko finally looked at him, he mouthed, “Spar later?” and smirked at how relieved Zuko seemed at the suggestion. It was gratifying to know that the Fire Lord was just as bored with his meetings as Sokka was. 

With the promise of a spar later, Sokka does his best to refocus on the meeting. Across the table from him, Minister Teruko of the Military is stifling a yawn into her hand, and he can see even some of the stuffier older Ministers struggling to stay on task. Xin Fung was a surprisingly decent person for a Minister who served under Ozai as well, and an excellent Pai Sho player. Unfortunately, keeping an audience engaged was not in his skill set. He could do with some lessons from Teruko. Banished and dishonorably discharged from the Fire Navy for her temper and unflinching morals, she’d spent three years on a ship with Zuko, which had only served to make her more fiery. (ha, fiery. This was why Sokka was the funny one.) She was lively and unafraid of Zuko, and her travels with him made her an outstanding candidate for the Minister of the Military, given her expertise on the regulations that needed to go and the size required to balance defending themselves and no longer appearing as a threat to the world. 

Sokka snickered at the idea of Xin Fung faced with a frustrated Teruko. No doubt the man has seen his share of Fire Nation tempers, but Teruko on a rampage is a sight to behold. Angry Fire Nationals may be terrifying, but Teruko, no matter how fiery she was, rarely got truly angry. And when she did, she was so invested in it that it took Sokka’s breath away. She reminded him of Zuko, with her sheer connection to her world and her spirits, and her passion for them both. Her protectiveness reminded him of Suki, which made him smile. He was glad Zuko had people like Teruko in his corner.

“...Sokka. SOKKA.”

“Mmph. What?”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “It’s your turn, dude.” 

“Oh. Right.” Sokka shuffled through his papers, looking for the notes he’d jotted down last night–aha. At the very back of the stack, because of course. He cleared his throat. 

“Fire Lord Zuko and I have decided to go ahead with the plan to get married. I will be partially vacating my position as Ambassador from the Southern Water Tribe due to the conflict of interest, but I will still serve as cultural expert and advisor to the new Ambassador. Eventually, I will assume the position of Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, and Zuko–er, Fire Lord Zuko and I will split our time between there and here.” Teruko smirked at his slip. Sokka cleared his throat. “Where was I? Oh, yes. We predict the nations will be stable enough to lead remotely by the time Chief Hakoda retires, Tui and La willing. I believe Minister Xao and the Fire Lord had some notes on the ceremony?”

Zuko glared at him. Sokka knew he was silently yelling at him for throwing him under the bus. He shrugged in return, knowing that despite his unpreparedness, Zuko would come up with something awesome for the ceremony. He worked better when flying by the seat of his pants, anyway. 

“Minister Xao and I have decided to combine traditions of Fire Nation and Southern Water Tribe weddings to create a unique ceremony. Elements like the Tribal betrothal necklace and Fire Nation rings, that are reserved for romantic partnerships, will not be used out of respect.” Sokka started. He had planned not to carve a necklace for that very reason, but he hadn’t had a chance to tell Zuko that before the meeting and had been hoping Zuko wouldn’t bring up its use. The fact that Zuko had come to that conclusion all on his own took Sokka’s breath away with how much he cared. 

Zuko didn’t verbalize his emotions. He didn’t tell people what was stressing him, or when something made him happy, or upset, or nervous. He showed it, if one knew what to look for. But even then, it was subtle things. Negative emotions were small tics and rumpled clothing, as if the wearer hadn’t slept in too long. Positive ones were small smiles and hands that you didn’t notice were always tense until they relaxed. He showed how he cared about his friends in small ways, too. Gifts, explained away as practical and nothing more. Outings, that just so happened to be on the way and oh, you’ve been dying to see this dance troupe for ages? How fortunate! Even this wouldn’t be recognized by anyone else as meaningful. But they meant everything to Sokka. 

Oblivious to Sokka’s mini-crisis about how much he loved his friends, Zuko continued on. “The ceremony will be conducted by two spiritual leaders, one from each relevant nation. Great Sage Shyu shall represent the Fire Nation, and Elder Kanna shall represent the Water Tribe.” Sokka smiled softly. Gran-Gran was the most logical choice, given her spiritual leadership in both Water Tribes, but he knew Zuko had to pull a couple strings to make it happen and he was touched. He really couldn’t have picked a better person to be his life partner. He knew that it was most likely not forever, that either he or Zuko would find someone who outweighed political benefits, but he was glad to have the support for now. Zuko seemed to complement him in ways no one else did. 

“Sokka, are you alright?” Sokka looked up sharply. The room was empty, when had that happened? There was only Zuko, looking at him concernedly. “You seem distracted.”

“I’m fine. I’m just glad I have you by my side, you know? There’s no one else I’d pick to be my life partner.” 

“What?”

“Yeah, you balance me better than anyone else, and you get me. The only other person outside of my family who gets me that well is probably Suki. I mean, you and her are probably my best friends. Not to mention the political benefits. I think that this is gonna be an excellent catalyst for a closer relationship between our countries.”

“Oh. Oh. Right. Political benefits, and uh, best friends.” Zuko attempted to run a hand through his hair, and when he found it tied up, he twisted his fingers together instead.

Sokka stared at him suspiciously. “Are you alright? You’re acting nervous again.” 

Zuko let out a strained laugh. “I’m good! Completely fine. I, um, I just remembered this...budget memo I have to prepare! It’s always something, you know? Never a dull moment as the ruler of a country!” With that, he got up and rushed out of the throne room, leaving a bewildered Sokka behind. 

“You sent out the budget memos last week, dude,” he mutters. “Something’s bothering him about what I said. Only question is what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the dare was to post this and see if my sister could find it. she found it within ten minutes.


End file.
